Time Freak.

I have often stepped back and wonder why the calm-me is always so anxious with the time. I mean it. Whenever I look at the clock, and if its way past the time I have intended to finish my work at, I get extremely worked up. I figured it the whole day, and I guess everyone is the same at the end of the day. We want to feel belonged, we want respect from others, we want to count on something. Keeping up with my daily schedule - a tiny achivement means much to me. That is why I get stressed out and with a sense of guilt after procrastinating the whole day. Chill may be the alternative option but no, it ain't working for me.

I think I will get back to reading the papers. And yes. Right now, I am staring frantically at the clock. Tick-tock, tick-tock.

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Great grandma, rest in peace.

Great grandma just celebrated her 100th day death anniversary six feet under. To most, she died peacefully on her bed at the age of 99. But, deep down inside, she awaited her death everyday. Thats her confession to me last Chinese New Year. She never stopped grumbling about her fugly life. Diabetes at the age of 70, both legs amputated at the age of 80, never stepped outside of the house for 20 years and became senile at the age of 97. No one's life is as fugly as hers. I agree very much.

Anyway, its a tradition for my family to have a family dinner on our relative's 100th day death anniversary. Eating, as usual is the ultimate activity we do to commemorate our relative's 100th day death anniversary. These big family dinners which I usually attend are always organized by my aunty. It goes the same for my mother's family too.

But something else bothered me during these dinners. Who in my generation will iniate these family dinners in the future when my aunty's generation has gone six feet under? Although I have a big family, but the cousins that I barely know is relatively more than the cousins I keep in touch now. Most of them are distant and the worst thing is, I do not even recognize them.Is my family ripping apart someday?

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Girl Blues.

No idea how it happened. All of a sudden, I was all emo. Blame it on the hormones, the blues just attacked me. Or It could be the house getting dirty and messy again which I just cleaned 3 days ago made me down. I hate the toilet. Seriously. I can never describe my hatred towards the toilet I had to sit on everyday. The sink. I really have no idea why is there heaps of hair stuck there everyday. No matter how much I tidy, the house will never be spick and span. Truly depressing.

Or It could be the sudden free time I had since I was out nearly every night this week. I stared at the screen a few seconds before I decide to surf certain websites. Friendster was one of them. Looking at my friends' glam photos did no cure. Most signed up with Friendster to compete in having the most testimonials and comments or posting up the most glam photos. Everything seemed superficial.

Or It could be the meeting of different people at the workshops I participated intimidated me. Thumbs up to these people who can talk intellectually and confidently in such a posh manner. I felt like a loser suddenly being the most bored person stuck facing the computer whereas people outside there are doing the most important things in their life. I have big dreams too, but have no idea whatsoever where to start from. I shopped, had yum-tea sessions with friends, dined at marvellous restaurants, watched great movies, yet something is still missing inside. Makes me wonder what.

Anyway, its just another 'down' session for me. Guess, I'm just tired.

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The Inconvenient Truth.

She and her story. He and his story. Life can be unfair to some.

Shattered dreams. Lost faith. Sick family. (Shitty life)

I wonder why are people always realizing the consequences of things only when something "Boom" comes up after sitting long enough in their comfort zone? Is that the only time when people will start to act as they should?

Well, its never too late to start doing so to kick the fugly bitches' asses.

"When you pray, move your feet." - African quote.

Tokkok: I wonder when will my much dreaded housemates reflect on the importance of cleanliness when the heaps of hair stuffed outside their door gets bigger day by day.

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Back to reality.

Dear bloggie,

Sorry for having neglected you quite a while. Well, after spending my holiday being my honourable guest - Resa's tourist guide, sight-seeing my own city that I missed exploring, enjoying the ultimate joy of eating especially Fish & Co., stuffing KK pork into my suitcase, wishing my family a goodbye, here I am. Back to this big city. And back to studying the intimidating gibberish (again).

2 months.

Things changed. Seriously.

The taxi driver nearly dumped Resa and I at the roadside just because I was 2 seconds late in telling the taxi driver, he missed the turning into Mentari. Leroy's hair was implanted from a lion which has never undergone rebonding before. I get to disturb Ellyn's fish every morning. The signs in Kl Sentral have been improvised not forgetting the replacement of billboards too. The population in KL has increased by a dozen times (not mentioning I nearly died of suffocation in Low Yat Plaza.) Was awarded a RM35 bill by a taxi driver who drove us home from Mid Valley to Mentari just because his seats are leather-made.

Life is great!

Things got better when my Islamic lecturer nearly walked out of the classroom / cried / spit F*CK out yesterday. This whole incident haunted me.
Once upon a time, I made my teacher cry just because I told her I hated her Chinese lesson and led the class in eating while she was teaching. Consequently, I was fired from class position and was made to swear I will not push the wrong button on a lecturer even if I could not understand her Indian accent. I'll just wait and watch the next dramatic scenario.

Tokkok: Some things never change. The rhinos and humans are still playing the pushing game in KTMs starting from 5pm. (if you are interested in joining the game)

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