Happy Merdeka Day.

It is my honour as an East Malaysian to congratulate the West Malaysians on their country's 50th Independence Day. However, it still takes 6 years for us, the ones who live on trees and wipe our arses with leaves to celebrate our country's 50th birthday. Yes, we are pretty much a pair of separate countries who happens to share the same name. Even when it was written in the constitution of 1963, that Malaysia is made of Malaya ( all states in the Peninsular) and Sabah and Sarawak. However, Sabah and Sarawak are proudly acknowledged as sisters of Malaysia when the timber and oil in both states make the country tick.

Tokkok: My housemate spring-cleaned the house. I wonder why. Perhaps, Merdeka? I was wrong. Parents. Her parents made me over-boil my long beans when they spied on me cooking.

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Satisfying dinner ever.

A real illustration of food in Saisaki

Thanks to Saisaki Japanese restaurant, I intend to take a break from sushis and salmons and sashimis for at least one month. It was one of the best nights I had in KL last night which I was surrounded by hundred varieties of sushis and my dear friends from KK. It was the wisest choice for me to spend RM60 to pamper myself with unagis, soft shell crabs, steam tiger prawns, sashimis, huge oysters, calamari and chatting non-stop with my dear friends.


p.s. Please make sure your drool won't flood your keyboard.


It was at that time I realized I actually missed talking in Mandarin which I haven't done in quite some time. Nevertheless, this Japanese buffet might be my first and last as they are increasing the price again by next month.

By the way, on my way to Setia Jaya KTM station, I was flashed by a fugly Malay guy who was pretending to pee. He was doing a pee-ing pose and looking around for targets to flash at. I think I was one of his lucky targets. He stared at me from a distance. I knew it was coming when he did those sucking noises at me. By not wanting to satisfy his desires, I just gave him a poker face and stick my tongue out. That pervert was still seeking for more targets after I have entered the train. I guess it was clear that he was not satisfied with my reaction.

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Time Freak.

I have often stepped back and wonder why the calm-me is always so anxious with the time. I mean it. Whenever I look at the clock, and if its way past the time I have intended to finish my work at, I get extremely worked up. I figured it the whole day, and I guess everyone is the same at the end of the day. We want to feel belonged, we want respect from others, we want to count on something. Keeping up with my daily schedule - a tiny achivement means much to me. That is why I get stressed out and with a sense of guilt after procrastinating the whole day. Chill may be the alternative option but no, it ain't working for me.

I think I will get back to reading the papers. And yes. Right now, I am staring frantically at the clock. Tick-tock, tick-tock.

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Great grandma, rest in peace.

Great grandma just celebrated her 100th day death anniversary six feet under. To most, she died peacefully on her bed at the age of 99. But, deep down inside, she awaited her death everyday. Thats her confession to me last Chinese New Year. She never stopped grumbling about her fugly life. Diabetes at the age of 70, both legs amputated at the age of 80, never stepped outside of the house for 20 years and became senile at the age of 97. No one's life is as fugly as hers. I agree very much.

Anyway, its a tradition for my family to have a family dinner on our relative's 100th day death anniversary. Eating, as usual is the ultimate activity we do to commemorate our relative's 100th day death anniversary. These big family dinners which I usually attend are always organized by my aunty. It goes the same for my mother's family too.

But something else bothered me during these dinners. Who in my generation will iniate these family dinners in the future when my aunty's generation has gone six feet under? Although I have a big family, but the cousins that I barely know is relatively more than the cousins I keep in touch now. Most of them are distant and the worst thing is, I do not even recognize them.Is my family ripping apart someday?

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Girl Blues.

No idea how it happened. All of a sudden, I was all emo. Blame it on the hormones, the blues just attacked me. Or It could be the house getting dirty and messy again which I just cleaned 3 days ago made me down. I hate the toilet. Seriously. I can never describe my hatred towards the toilet I had to sit on everyday. The sink. I really have no idea why is there heaps of hair stuck there everyday. No matter how much I tidy, the house will never be spick and span. Truly depressing.

Or It could be the sudden free time I had since I was out nearly every night this week. I stared at the screen a few seconds before I decide to surf certain websites. Friendster was one of them. Looking at my friends' glam photos did no cure. Most signed up with Friendster to compete in having the most testimonials and comments or posting up the most glam photos. Everything seemed superficial.

Or It could be the meeting of different people at the workshops I participated intimidated me. Thumbs up to these people who can talk intellectually and confidently in such a posh manner. I felt like a loser suddenly being the most bored person stuck facing the computer whereas people outside there are doing the most important things in their life. I have big dreams too, but have no idea whatsoever where to start from. I shopped, had yum-tea sessions with friends, dined at marvellous restaurants, watched great movies, yet something is still missing inside. Makes me wonder what.

Anyway, its just another 'down' session for me. Guess, I'm just tired.

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